I picked up a brochure called "Make It Your Drink: 2005 Guide to Starbucks Beverages" at a Starbucks in Target a few weeks ago. Thanks to some Christmas loving from my sister, I can afford to buy souped up drinks. (At least for a few weeks.)

On the page "Fun with Frappuccino," the brochure reminded me about getting these things "Affogato Style," which is essentially some extra sauce on top and a brewed shot. Affogato costs like 55 cents and is fantastic. (Props to G. circa 2005 for the original gift of this knowledge.)

I went to the Starbucks in Randalls a few days ago and attempted to order this using the appropriate phrase:

Me: "Can I please have a grande Caramel Frappuccino, Affogato style?
Barista: "What."
Me: "Affogato is when you put some extra sauce on top and pour a shot into it."
Barista: "What."
Me: "I used to order this all the time and a little Starbucks dictionary reminded me of it."
Barista: "Its dumb they need dictionaries. They should make things easy. Like saying 'medium' instead of 'grande.'"
Me: "Oh. Can I still have an extra shot?"
Barista: "Let's see."
Barista: (Searches her little computer.) "$3.73."
Me: (Scans giftcard.) "Thanks."
Barista: (Makes a normal Frapp with nothing special.) "Here."
Me: (Baffled. Takes drink and leaves.)

Not only did the server not get what I was saying, she neglected to tell me that she was going to ignore my request!

Maybe another reason why Starbucks isn't growing anymore: the grocery store kiosks can't back up the Target kiosk's claims.